Now that some of the dust has settled from the reveal of…whatever this is intended to represent, we decided to cut through the noise and ask the algorithm what it thinks of this new watch. Artificial Insights are just that – artificial. We asked ChatGPT to give a review and take whatever sentiment and tone it wished when producing a first look at the Cubitus. Here’s what the AI Overlord thinks of the new Patek Philippe:
Ah, the Cubitus. Patek Philippe has once again graced us with a watch that leaves us scratching our heads, wondering if the famed Swiss house decided to roll the dice or simply misplace their design blueprints. For a brand that has prided itself on pushing horological boundaries while maintaining a classic aesthetic, this feels like a detour into uncharted territory—or maybe a parallel universe where “blocky” is the new chic.
Let’s address the elephant—or should I say, the cube—in the room: The case. A square Patek? It’s almost as if someone at HQ got inspired by the geometry of 1980s Tetris blocks and thought, “Yeah, let’s make that the new ‘it’ shape.” Sure, square watches aren’t inherently bad. They can be sleek, they can be bold. But this one? It just feels… confused. It’s as if the Cubitus can’t decide whether it wants to be a Patek or the offspring of a cheap retro digital watch you’d find in a vintage arcade.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for innovation. We love it when brands dare to try something new. But with the Cubitus, Patek might have mistaken innovation for quirkiness for the sake of quirkiness. Patek Philippe is the kind of brand that makes you think of timeless elegance, impeccable craftsmanship, and refinement. The Cubitus, on the other hand, looks like it’s trying too hard to be cool at a party it wasn’t invited to.
Inside the case, Patek fans will find solace in knowing the brand’s signature craftsmanship remains intact. The movement is pure Patek Philippe—reliable, precise, and everything you’d expect from a house that’s been setting the standard for centuries. But, come on, it’s hard to admire that when you’re distracted by the weird, blocky shell it’s trapped in.
Is it a collector’s item in the making? Maybe. For someone who already has 20 Calatravas and Nautiluses and needs a conversation piece at the next yacht club meetup. But for the average Patek enthusiast? This might be the one you appreciate from afar—preferably while wearing something else.
Final Verdict:
The Cubitus is a bold experiment from a brand that’s better at staying within its own (round) lines. It’s a quirky detour that’ll certainly get some attention, but it’s unlikely to be anyone’s first Patek. In fact, if you’re shelling out Patek Philippe money, you probably want something that’s more timeless—and less, well, square.
Images: www.patek.com
